Love does not control.

Love is not cruel or manipulative. 

Love does not break your spirit.

‘Why didn’t you leave?’ is a question often posed to victims, without realizing that it’s much easier said than done. For Alana, sixteen years in an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship left her unrecognizable to herself. Once a strong, independent, and ambitious woman, she had become a shattered, disheveled shell of a human being. Only after enduring years of torment and raising three children in the midst of chaos could she summon the courage to reclaim her power and make the life-altering decision to leave.

This memoir is her story.

Taking readers on an emotional rollercoaster of real-life events, Alana navigates coercive control, emotional manipulation, and post-separation abuse. With unwavering honesty, she lays bare the intricacies of abuse dynamics, punctuating her narrative with psychological insights and red flags to empower others to recognize the signs. This book is a lifeline for survivors, a beacon of awareness for family and friends to support loved ones, and a roadmap for those caught in toxic relationships to reclaim autonomy and flourish beyond the trauma.

Was it My Fault? is intended to offer solace and guidance to those ensnared in toxic relationships, dispelling the notion that abuse is solely physical. Inspiring self-discovery, healing, and empowerment, Alana offers a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, a rallying cry for survivors to reclaim their narrative – urging them not just to survive, but to thrive.