Post-separation abuse.
Domestic Violence (DV) is more than just physical abuse. During the relationship, domestic violence can be physical, verbal, emotional, psychological, sexual, and/or financial abuse. When the relationship ends, the abuse does not stop, it just transitions to a new form of abuse referred to as post-separation abuse.
Post-separation abuse continues to escalate and often, far surpasses the DV that victims are subject to while under the same roof as their abuser. After the relationship ends, the perpetrator sets their sights on the child(ren) to exert control, and to terrorize the healthy parent. Every high-conflict custody battle has three basic narratives: the abuser’s need for control, the abuser’s need to “win”, and the abuser’s desire to hurt or punish the healthy parent.
While there are many resources available to victims of DV during the relationship, the only resource available to victims of post-separation abuse is the Family Court System itself (judges, mediators, minor’s counsel, custody evaluators, therapists, co-parenting counselors, parenting coordinators, and attorneys). It is so important for those in the family court system to be educated on post-separation abuse and to recognize it in high-conflict divorces, custody battles, and paternity cases.
Post-separation abuse does not just affect the victim, it has immediate and long-lasting effects on children resulting in adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). ACEs is a term used to describe any traumatic event during childhood such as divorce, violence, emotional abuse, neglect, substance abuse, or even an environment that undermines a child’s sense of bonding or stability. The ACE study (The Center for Disease Control and Kaiser Permanente) should be the courtroom bible for judges and other court professionals who are tasked with the responsibility of acting in the best interest of children.
Post Separation Abuse Wheel - Compliments of One Mom’s Battle